Love is a Many Splendored Thing.
My depth and understanding of love has changed throughout the years. The older I become, the more I truly understand the meaning of love and its value. When I was a child, love meant being safely protected by parents who secured the world around me. My understanding of love was based on what they had created. Love meant a warm spot on my mother's lap, a bag of penny candy from the corner market and having enough money to buy a 15 cent snow cone on a hot summer's day. It meant playing tetherball with my cousins and having a sleepover at my grandmother's house. I could feel love, it was real and tangible. I realize now, that my perception of love was not about what I gave; rather, it was entirely based on what I was given.When I was in my teens, I experienced love from the "outside in" and on a very superficial level. Love meant that everything 'revolved' around me. It was not what I could give; rather, it was how much I could gain. At that stage in life, love meant being the pitcher on the soft ball team, getting my driver's license and a date to the prom. It meant spending all my time with friends and not with family, and I was more concerned about my hair, clothes and entertainment then about my future. Love was not about what I deserved, it was what I demanded.
In my thirties, love changed drastically. I had no time to focus on the 'material things' because my children where busy doing that for me. Love meant sitting up nights with a sick child. It meant trying to figure out how to pay for my son's prom and still have money left to pay the electric bill. Love meant swim lessons, soccer practice, football games, Christmas presents, PTA, teachers conference, scouts, birthday parties, car pools, sack lunches, Halloween costumes, battle scars and bandaged knees... It was the kind of love that worked 24/7 washing, cooking and cleaning. There was no time to comb the hair I pampered so diligently in the 60's and I was still wearing the same wardrobe my parents bought me in the 70's! Every ounce of energy and all my resources went to someone else. My big night out on the town was a Little Caesar's five buck pizza and the dollar movies. Love was no longer about what I could gain; rather, it was sincerely hoping there would be something 'left of me to give!' By now I understood the highest level of love, that of sacrifice.
In my forties, I experienced a peaceful kind of love, almost as if I'd arrived or received a higher rank... perhaps Four Star General. It was a tempered kind of love developed from years of patience, long suffering and wisdom, and it took on a completely different role. I learned that I was astonishingly resilient yet, gentle and kind. Love came with ease and it bore the positive fruits of "You bet, sounds great and absolutely!" I wasn't certain if I had attained this level of harmony, or if I'd been beaten into submission, but it was very well received. Experience had taught me to overlook the imperfections in life and let go. I stopped sweating the small stuff and began seeing my own reflection manifesting itself in everything I'd ever done. Whether good or bad, I had created the love surrounding me and it was a very powerful and rewarding experience. The whispers of inadequacy had long faded. I no longer had that nagging desire to save the whales or hug a tree; somehow, I had arrived at the intersection of peace and joy. I was experiencing a magnificent blessing from God, the "love of self!" I was pleased with what I'd created and indeed, love had gone full circle.
In my fifties, I realized that love had developed another depth and it was jubilant... I now had grandchildren! Love meant someone to spoil rotten, fill full of sugar and send home. It was so gratifying! It was the 'love of revenge' for all my sleepless nights bequeath by my teenage children. I was watching my children experience the plan of creation, only now, I was the spectator! Love meant having my cake and eating it too and it was very sweet to the taste. Love was coming from all directions and continually filling up the reservoir that was bone dry from the 70's and 80's. Love had it's dividends and I'd struck pay dirt!
I am in my late sixties now and I have acquired a much deeper and abiding respect for love. I will be making the last few stops along my journey and soon embark on a new destination. I've determined the price of love and conclude that it has surpassed all mortal value! I look back over the span of a lifetime and realize the 'gifts of love' that God granted me are priceless. Through His plan, I've been given the gift of life, the blessings of pro-creation and a lifetime of precious memories. One day, I will approach the threshold of God. It's a daunting thought, that all I have acquired in this life will someday turn to dust, as will my body, when laid to rest. But the thoughts of death are completely overshadowed through the atonement of Christ and the gift of eternal life, His gifts that created the ultimate sacrifices of divine love.
