My life is never boring and I’ve had the most bizarre and random experiences happen to me in my lifetime, but this one takes the cake!
I’ve owned the same cell phone for years, and I am attached to all its features. It’s the original Palm Treo 680 innovative smartphone, and it’s such a great little phone that over the years I’ve worn the printed lettering off the buttons. It’s scratched, dinged, bruised, and chipped, but it can take a lickin’ and keep on tickin’.
My children teased, “Fred Flintstone came by and he wants his old phone back.” Oh, that’s really hilarious, but wait until you hear the rest of the story, it’s no laughing matter. It’s true, I’m a creature of habit and I stick with the things that work for me. I believe if it isn’t broken, don’t fix it!
Last year, I let my husband pressure me into a free upgrade, (totally against my better judgement) and I headed to the Sprint store to pick out a new phone. It was excruciating for me and I haven’t been stressed out like that for a long time! I felt like I was betraying a loved one.
Reluctantly, I started browsing through the phones. There were hundreds to choose from and they came in all colors, shapes, and sizes. This was serious business for me. I used the same criteria women use for picking out a good husband. “Would it be durable enough to hold up under pressure, would it stand the test of time, and would I fall deeply in love with all it’s features?”
Literally, two hours later I was still trying to figure out what to do. Finally, I gave the frustrated salesperson my choice; whereupon, she did an unforgivable thing and asked me for my old phone. I felt like she was trying to kidnap my first born!
“Why do you need my old phone?” I replied with suspicion.
“I need to transfer your numbers into your new phone.” She replied.
“Do I get it back?”
“Sure, if you want it back?”
What did she mean, “if I wanted it back,” OF COURSE I WANTED IT BACK! What kind of person did she think I was, that phone had been my personal therapist for over three years! I had a sick empty pit in the bottom of my stomach as I watched her suck the life out of my faithful little phone. The strangling fingers of fate slid around my skinny chicken neck, and I could hardly stand the thought of giving up my trusty old friend. Then she powered down my Palm 680 Treo, laid it on the counter, and handed me this lightweight, sleazy imitation of a cell phone.
The thin impostor felt like a slab of cheese in my hand compared to my Palm 680; I stared at it like a stranger from a foreign land. I was having second, third and fourth thoughts, but the deed was already done and I had the receipt in hand! I took it home and tried to make the best out of the worst situation!
Later that day, I read the instruction manual and surrendered to the fact that I was determined to make it work. When I was learning how to use the buttons, I went to the picture mode and to my surprise it identified a picture upload. I was curious how there could be a photo in the new phone, so I pushed the button to retrieve the picture. It was a picture of a Sprint employee flipping the bird! I’M NOT JOKING! A great big fat finger in my face and behind the finger was a sleazy, cheesy grin! It was double the insult for me; I had no emotional attachments to the phone and now I felt it had the same feelings for me!
I marched back down to the store, put the fickle finger of fate up to her nose and asked if she had given me a, “used cell phone”. The salesperson apologized and explained that the memory card must have had the photo on it when she transferred my numbers, and it inadvertently uploaded the photo. Yes indeedy, it was a picture of their employee sharing his IQ.
She apologized out of both sides of her mouth, erased the picture and handed me the phone. Well, ho dee doe! I didn’t really want the phone back, it was tainted, and nothing she said made me feel any better about my experience. I stuffed the skinny impostor into my purse, thanked her and left the store.
Two days later, I decided to paint my husband’s office, when the new phone rang. I picked up the skinny impostor and propped it between my shoulder and ear; (I wanted to have both hands free to stir the paint). While I was talking to my sister, the phone slipped out from between my ear and shoulder like a wet bar of soap, and landed in the paint can! I immediately reach in the slimy brown paint to retrieve the phone; it was coated on all sides in Midnight Mocha latex paint. My new cell phone looked exactly like a dipped milk chocolate candy bar!
It’s been over a year since this experience happened and I’m proud to say that I am still using my Palm Treo 680 innovative smartphone and loving it! “Don’t hold your breath, Fred Flintstone, you won’t be getting this phone back any time soon!”
Linda Sumnner Urza, One Fine Day
