WHEN THE DARKNESS COMES

A few months ago I drove into a parking lot and proceeded toward the entrance of the store.  There was a young man who was holding a sign that read, "Please help me, I need gas money to get to Salt Lake City." I approached the man and asked what I could do to assist him and he replied that he needed money for gas.  I suggested to drive across the street to the service station and I would fill his tank.  I slid my credit card through the machine and waited for him to finish. I wished him a safe trip and requested that someday he pay it forward.  He drove away.

I returned back to the parking lot to finish my shopping and I was insulted to see him standing in the very same place, holding his sign!  My blood was boiling, for I believed that he was on his way to Salt Lake City.  I had to bite my tongue as I walked passed him toward the store.  He noticed me and turned his head away to avoid making eye contact. When I finished my shopping, he was still there bidding for spare change.  Again, I held my remarks as I walked past this man and got into my car. I felt deceived and my anger began to overcome my sensibility.  

My hand griped the door handle as I stepped out of the car, with the very intent to confront him, but I was reminded by a familiar thought that entered my mind. "In as much as ye have done it unto the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."  I got back into my car and drove away, but not without some deep soul searching.  I didn't have the right to judge this man, regardless of his circumstances, after all no one had forced me to be kind.

Last week, I saw him again sitting near the same spot and holding a sign that read, 'Please spare some change'.  I decided to take a different approach.  As I walked over to him, I could see that he recognized me and he smiled.  I bent down to gain eye contact and in a kind tone offered a few words of advice, "You can do better than this, you don't deserve to be here begging for spare change.  You're a strong, healthy man and life has a better outcome for you than this!" (Well, sometimes we think we have all the answers, but the truth is, we don't!)  

I was humbled with his response and ashamed of my own judgmental thoughts.  He looked me square in the eyes and responded,"Every morning I get up early and I am at Labor Ready by 8:00 AM.  I take whatever job they have available and I put in an honest days work, but there are many days there's no work at all.  I have a family that depends on me and I'm not gonna let them down.  I don't want to be out here on this corner either and I'm not stealing anything, I am asking for a little help until I can get full time work."

I knew this man was telling me the truth!  I felt sick to my stomach, what if this was my lot in life, I thought to myself!  What if I was a few dollars away from being homeless, with no way to turn my life around?  "I am sorry!" I said. "I will pray for blessings to come your way and that your circumstances will change for the better." I gave him what few bills I had in my purse and touched his shoulder with a sincere grip of compassion.

I haven't stopped thinking about this young man since that day.  It's interesting, after our first encounter I was so displeased with the results, I could have cared less if I ever saw him again.  Now, I look for him everywhere I go.  I can't imagine the pressure that he's had to bear and the level of fear, abandonment, and despair that he faces daily - something that I hope I will never have to experience.

Once again, I have learned that everything is not as it seems and every time I think that I have all the answers, I find out that I am the question.  There is something very valuable that I've learned from this experience, "Don't get upset because people need your assistance, feel grateful that you can be the light in their life when the darkness comes."  Written by Linda Sumner Urza for onefineday11.blogspot.com

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