THE LITTLE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF LOVE.

MOTHER MANIA:

Your refrigerator is covered with preschool papers and held up by 100 refrigerator magnets.

When your children make you breakfast in bed, it takes you three days to clean the kitchen.

To find out the dog is wearing your expensive perfume... after he was bathed in your bathtub!

Einstein only needed four hours of sleep a night.  Hah, that would be a vacation to you. 

The Valentine chocolates with little holes picked in the bottom of each one, grrrrrr!

Wishing there was another word besides "Mom" in your children's vocabulary.

Wondering how to get a sticky spider trap off the end of the cat's tail!

The nicest jewelry in your drawer is made from noodles and is spray painted gold.

The only quiet time you've had in the past year was during a colonoscopy.  

OLD WIVES TALES...  

You L0vE the Christmas sweater he gave you... the one with the reindeer on the front.

He professes to be a great athlete, but can't seem to hit the dirty clothes basket?

His idea of gourmet food is a package of Mac & Cheese and a handful of Doritos.

He sleeps like he's free falling from an airplane as you hold on to the edge of the bed.

That fishing pole he bought you for your birthday...  It's the thought that counts, right?

When he gets sick, stop everything!  It becomes a national crises at Level Orange!

If he says your hair looks great, look again, because he's not even looking at your head!

The most dreadful words he could utter. "How much did it really cost?" 

Your worst thoughts... he married you because you reminded him of his mother!

HUSBAND SYNDROME:  

Of course I love her, I married her didn't I!  How much more evidence does she need?

The shock of finding out that she can split you like an atom when she gets mad!

"Yes, my mother's coming for a month and NO, you can't turn yourself over to the Taliban."

She only gave you one dresser drawer in the bedroom because that's all you need!!!

Yes, she wears every pair of shoes in her closet and even the ones hidden under the bed.

Her predictable line of defense. "Because they were on sale!"

The four most frightening words a man could hear before drifting off to sleep. "Can we talk?"

No need to hide the checkbook or credit cards, her intuition is a heat seeking missile!

That sentimental shirt you saved since high school...  Can you say, Goodwill?

Your stinky sneakers are out on the porch because the smell sets off the fire alarm.

The hair slipping off the top of your head is a clear indication of your level of commitment!

FATHERS KNOWS BEST:

Attempting to change the babies first dirty diaper and throwing up in the clean one.  

Finding out your new tools were loaned to the neighbor kids to build a cub house.

Wondering how your paycheck can disappear faster than a UFO.

Concealing the trembling fears when handing over the car keys to your teenager.

The five most dreaded words a father will ever hear, "But Dad... everyone has one!"

Trying to find just one pair of gym socks that don't have holes in them!

Hearing those fateful words, "Sir, I would like to marry your daughter."  

Replying in wisdom, "When you find out how expensive she is, you'll bring her back!"

by, Linda Sumner Urza, One fine day.

I want to thank my friends and family for supporting this blog.  You are a great source of inspiration to me and your comments are so uplifting. Thank you for sharing this blog with others, I am aware of the viewers in other countries and I am so appreciative of each and every one of you.  The map shows that I have reached India, The United Kingdom, Canada, Israel, Malaysia, Thailand, Denmark, Slovenia, Croatia, Philippines, Germany, Spain, France, as well as the viewers here in the United States.  I send each one of you my love and gratitude for the support you have rendered.  Sincerely, Linda