This is a difficult story for me to write and it brings back experiences that I've spent years trying to shut out. When I think about it, I am physically sick and I get angry and emotional. I don’t blame myself. I was too young and innocent to understand what was happening or to recognize the warning signs, but in this reoccurring nightmare the monster was real!
I believe parents are supposed to protect their young and home is a child's safety zone, in this case I was wrong. Some parents are the hand of evil that destroys a perfect life or what could have become of something wonderful. I hate it; I don’t like it when bad things happen to good people, especially children! It’s absolutely unforgivable!
This story is about my childhood friend and her struggles to hide a dark secret. A story so ugly that it’s hard to let it pass through my mind one more time. It’s the vicious murder of innocence; the chain of betrayal and lies that came by night and stole the virtuous life of a child. Children should never be forced to live in fear at the hand of a loved one and these evil demons are murderers!
Joyce moved into my home town when I was in seventh grade. She was a beautiful girl with a sweet personality and an exceptional friend to everyone. I was fortunate to have her living a few blocks from my home and we became inseparable. She was a blessing to be around, one of joyful spontaneity and her friendship became the best part of my life.
She was a loving person, one who had a personality that complimented her contagious giggle. Together we did all the fun things that teenagers do. We talked about boys, hung out after school and spent almost every weekend together. I thought I knew everything about her, but I couldn't see into the dark corners of a shattered life.
There was a fragile side to Joyce. Many times she would drift into another world, a million miles away from the moment, and it makes me extremely sad to think about it now. In all the years we spent together, I had no idea she was fighting for her life and struggling to escape the dark entity that was devouring her innocence. A monster so frightening, that I believe she completely blocked out the reality of what was happening to her.
When I looked back over the years, the evidence was there. There was one particular night when we were having a sleepover at her house. We were talking quietly in the bedroom, when I heard someone coming up the stairs case. It was after midnight and it scared me, but the look on Joyce’s face was more disturbing. Her father opened the door and she quickly replied that I was sleeping over. He left the room without saying a word, but I saw something in his eyes that frightened me. I didn't know how to interpret what I had seen at such a young age and it still haunts me today.
As the years passed by, we graduated from high school and remained close friends. When I got married, time and distance came between us, and I didn't see her again until our ten year class reunion. That night she confided in me about her father and the years of sexual abuse. I was devastated as I listened to her painfully confess what he had done! She told me that a person can die a thousand deaths and never really die at all!
It was clear that this evil man had destroyed her life. For years she had drown herself in alcohol and drugs, but couldn't seem to kill the ugly images in her mind. I listened to her for over an hour; I was withdrawn and nauseated with sorrow. If becoming aware of this horrifying tragedy had such a devastating affect on me, then what had the years of abuse done to my friend?
At the end of the evening we hugged, said our goodbyes and then I watched as Joyce walked away. I cannot describe the sick feeling that overcame me after hearing what she had endured, it left me paralyzed. How did she survive all those years in outer darkness? The fear, pain, guilt, denial and shame had consumed what little peace she managed to find within her tarnished life. For two decades this monster had broken her spirit and murdered her soul, but by no fault of her own!
I never thought I could hate anyone, it's not in my character, but I despised him! He was not worthy to hold the title, Father. Real fathers are the men who protect their children - not prey upon them! This demon had stolen her childhood and killed any potential future she might have had. He disabled this beautiful human being who was filled with a marvelous light and energy; it should be a crime punishable by death and with no human capacity in this life for forgiveness! It's just too severe. His justice will come when he's held accountable for his actions in the council of Heaven.
Joyce and I saw each other again in 2003. Her father had died several years prior and taken his evil deeds to the grave. She told me that the pain of her childhood was still present, but the eye of the devil was no longer upon her and she was relieved that he was gone.
Multiple Scleroses is her challenge today and she strives daily to live a full and complete life. I love and respect her for having the courage to develop the best results from the most horrifying circumstances. The surmountable strength it must have taken for her to endure, is beyond my mortal comprehension.
I have learned that there are many things going on around us and we need to be observant. We are "our brother's keeper" and if there is something amiss, strange or seemingly inappropriate, then it's our responsibility to act upon our intuitions. I have taught my children not to turn a blind eye to the things going on around them; ask questions, pry open the doors and be consciously seeking after the truth - for when good people do nothing, evil prevails! Linda Sumner Urza, One fine day.
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