Little Laughing Matters


The day I became seriously religious.
"You better pray that comes out of the carpet!"

The day I learned about the weather.
"It looks like a tornado went through this house."

The day I found total confusion. 
"This hurts me, more than it will hurt you!"

The day I learned about the science of osmosis.
"Keep your mouth shut and eat your dinner!"

The day I understood how to tell time.
"I'll just take a minute............................................................."

The day I learn about respecting others. 
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside, I just cleaned this house!"

The day I understood behavior modification.
"You're acting just like your father!"

The day I was taught the art of logic.
"Because I said so, that's why!"

The day I learned about time travel.
"Pay attention or I'll knock you into next week!"

The day I realized I had stamina.
"Eat all your peas."

The day I learned about extra sensory perception.
"Where's your report card?"

The day I thought twice about envy.
"There are millions of kids in the world that would love to have your life!"

The day I learned about exaggeration.
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times."

The day I became a contortionist.
"Look at all that dirt on the back of your neck?"

The day I was taught about foresight.
"Make sure you have on clean underwear in case you're in an accident."

The day I mastered the art of negotiation.
"Did you hit your sister?"

The day I understood the circle of life.
"I brought you into this world, I can certainly send you out."

by, Linda Sumner Urza, One fine day

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