In My Father’s Light.

I have had many people ask me where I found the inspiration behind the book, My Dad is Forever.  They say that it brings about deep reflections of their lives and the love they experienced with their father. It’s difficult to read without shedding a tears, but they are tears of joy and edification.  I have been told the book has a spirit of it’s own and the pages emulate the purest love between that of a father and his child.  I had a magnificent childhood and my father is the reason this book is so successful. 

My father was dedicated to his family and the most wonderful dad a little girl could dream of having. To me, he was a prince and his love overflowed into all our lives like a song from the heart.  He didn’t put work, friends, extracurricular activities or himself before his family life and I truly believed that he would be there for me forever.  To a child, their dad is invincible, they are a hero and the magnificent knight that slay the dragon underneath the bed...

I learned how to walk, run, ride a bike and navigate through the trials in life from my dad.  My mother was more reserved, but my father was a character not easily forgotten.  His stories were bigger than life and he loved everyone surrounding him.  He had the ability to make people laugh about life and feel blessed to be in his presence.  My dad made the sun shine directly on those around him; it felt warm to be in his presence.

When I was in high school my father became very ill with arteriosclerosis and his condition was life threatening.  He was not expected to survive more than a few months; although he was scheduled for surgery, the procedures were high risk.  There were three separate times my family was summoned to the hospital by my father’s doctor who told my mother, “he wasn’t expected to live through the night.”  

I was distraught by the reality of losing my father and my world began to unravel.  I didn't realized how frail and vulnerable the mind could become, until I was faced with my father's death.   It’s impossible to describe the levels of pain a child goes through when they believe a parent is leaving them behind.  Everyday becomes a nightmare, soon you are suffocating in your own fears and the sorrow is heavy, thick, and lonely.  

I didn’t want to know life without my father in it, he was the safety net and I always knew that no matter what happened out in the world, home was a much better place!  It got to the point where I couldn’t endure the pain and I was unable to comprehend how life could go on without him.  Everything eventually dies, I knew that, but not now and not him!  

It got to the point where I couldn’t concentrate in school anymore and my grades began to suffer.  I spent evenings at the hospital and my days consumed with the anxiety that this could be the last time we have together. 

I was the youngest of 9 siblings and it was obvious to me how difficult this was for everyone including my mother.  No one prepares you for something like this and I didn’t know where to go with the anger!  I wanted to cry out, but I didn’t want my mother to hear because she was already in too much pain.  Days stopped passing by, they just hovered over my head like a dark cloud and I felt detached from the world.

When I went to school, each day became more difficult and in reality, I wasn’t present.  There were times when I listened to the teacher talking, but I didn’t have the mental capacity to hear what was being said.  None of it really mattered anymore; I wasn’t emotionally, mentally or physically attached to my world.  

One day a boy in my french class was teasing me because I was unprepared with an assignment.  He taunted me relentlessly and called me an idiot!  I was too shy to say anything to anyone, so each morning as I climbed the stairs of the bus, I had two things to worry about; my father dying and someone making inconsiderate and rude comments to me in my darkest hours.  

It’s important to teach children to be kind, (it’s nice to be important but it’s more important to be nice).  One never knows what trials or tragedies others are going through in their personal life.  They may be at the edge and needing love and light from another soul to give them the strength to endure and those words spoken could either make it or break it for them.  Wouldn’t it  be a heavy burden to bare knowing that your negative comments were the last that person heard before they slipped off the edge.   

My father’s surgeries were successful and it was indeed a miracle in all our lives to have him come home and bless us with his wonderful countenance.  Every soul in this life is a light unto the world and when that light is extinguished, there is an empty space and darkness where that brilliant light once shined.  It cannot be replace by another light, for each soul has a special place to shine.  I counted the miracles in my life and I was grateful that my father would be there to warm my life once again with his love. 

I graduated from high school two years later and attended a local university in my home town.  One day I came home from school around 5:00 p.m.  My mother was working late, I prepared dinner and then went in to wake my father, whom I thought was resting.  This night would be very difficult for me as I realized my father had passed away and I was alone in our home when this experience happened.  There was not going to be a miracle for me on that day, he had slipped away quietly and unassuming, but that was his way -  never wanting to cause any more pain than necessary.   

I don’t think a child can sufficiently prepare themselves for the death of a parent.  I stood next to my father’s lifeless body and felt a part of my life slipping away with his spirit.  The faith I had in the life hereafter was not strong enough to sustain me and the sting of death was overpowering.  I was, however, grateful that I was the one to be there and spend a sacred moment telling him goodbye.  There was no doubt in my heart for I knew that his spirit was still in the room and I could feel the power of his presence.  There was a level of love that was exchanged between a daughter for her father in a quiet reverence that only angels can hear.  Then the room became still - and I knew he was called beyond the veil and the light extinguished, never again to shine in this world. 

After he was buried, I fell into a black abyss.  I mourned for his brilliant countenance and the excellence that had surrounded my family throughout his journey upon this earth.  If one could be fortunate enough to meet my father in the spirit world, they would indeed understand why I wrote the book, My Dad is Forever.  The story emulates the greatness of noble fathers and the legacy of love they instill in the hearts of their children.  

I was fortunate to receive an endorsement by Stephen R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and The 8th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness:  "My Dad is Forever is an uplifting and inspiring story of the love between a father and a son.  The Childhood memories evoked by this special book will bring laughter, tears and joy to the reader." 

My Dad is forever is dedicated to my father, my sons and their sons who have inspired the magnificence of genuine love, warm tones and tiny miracles.  Every soul is a gift of life.   

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